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Yesterday I sat through two hours of our glorious Soviet State Military Orchestra and massed choir. It stinks! How can we motivate our workers and soldiers with these turgid dirges! We need Swing, and we need it now! -Joseph Stalin, 1946

The juxtaposition of Slavic folklore melodies with Afro American counterpoint, syncopation and extemporisation demonstrates radical development in popular music and will undoubtedly suppress counter-revolutionary ideological thought in the proletariat. -Constantin Rubeovich, Professor of Ethnomusicology, University of Moscow, 1948

This programme of musical propoganda has cost over 300 million roubles over past 50 years yet they have not played one note in public. They show no respect for Russian tradition, can not play National Anthem and do not know anything by Abba. All funding is withdrawn. -Vladimir Putin, 1996

This form of musical terrorism examplifies the level of threat we face at the current time. If these folks think that they can change the thoughts of the American people about what we think about our way of life, they have another thought coming. -George W.Bush, 2003

Editor's note:

In the shadowy world of political propaganda, truth and lies are fluid concepts. However we may point out that the reviews printed below this note are closer to the decedant western concept of truth than other, more colourful, entertaining and ideologically correct parts of this website.

Here's a review from the Russian Jazz Quad magazine, based in Moscow:

Well, believe it or not but debuted album of the "revolutionary" group The Kremlinaires, entitled Soviet Swing and Bolshevik Boogie, got into my hands just at the anniversary of the October revolution 1917 said, to the theme of the day.

The Group is a septet consisting of two Russian jokers and five Englishmen who also enjoy to" give a needle". The Groups ideological leader is a London based violin player Chris Haigh. He arranged the music and produced the album (along with Andy Dewar) and also designed the album cover.

To be fair to Chris, the cover design and inside booklet are both, surprisingly, very ideologically correct. You get Lenin, Kremlin, Hammer and Sickle, a typical Soviet propaganda poster, made up quotes by Stalin, Putin and George Bush Junior, and indeed a famous slogan Proletarians of all the countries, unite! As a compliment to design, there are funny titles for the tunes. For instance, there is Stomping With Stalin or A Tsar Is Born that peacefully co-exist with old Soviet favourites Ach Odessa and Katyusha. In addition there is also a claim that the Kremlinaires project is sponsored by the Arts Council of Northern Korea, Cuban Airlines and made up criminal organization from Moscow.

Speaking of substance, it is important to stress that here are more of eclectic ideas. Musically, The Kremlinaires sound freakish and funny (for those from the UK first of all) mixing typical restaurant style Odessa music (mostly familiar to those who were born in the USSR) and Soviet melodies, Klezmer motives along with Balkan tunes as been well demonstrated in a song Take Me Back To Belgrad (smell of Emir Kusturiza No Smoking Orchestra?).

On top of all of the above mentioned, there is a solid underlaying foundation made of traditional swing jazz that musicians perform with expertise. To sum up, the project has style ,even the ones who would not like it will agree with this statement. But the Kremlinaires have a great deal of work to do should they decide to develop their project. It is very much possible to marry swing with cantatas in Lenins honour, explore countless revolutionary hymns and songs about trans-Siberian railway link called BAM or long neglected Komsomol theme. Honest, I would love the guys to carry on. Comrades! Let us move a step closer to a triumphant victory of the Dixieland communism!

Leonid Auskern . Oct 2003

And from Fiddle On magazine:

"Soviet Swing and Bolshevik Boogie from the Commissars of Cool!" What more needs saying?

The story of how Chris Haigh founded this band is, quite literally, unbelievable! At the time of writing they've yet to perform their first gig, but it would be a shame if they had nothing to sell afterwards. Songs include "Fat Vlad from Volgagrad" and "Take me back to Belgrade" (Bob Wills said Tulsa in his version).

Heavy accents and humour aside they're a great swing band, accordion, guitar, clarinet/sax, piano, drums, violin and bass. No question they'll be brilliant live, but if you can't get to hear them, boil the beetroot, pour the vodka, and enjoy a Russian night in with this CD!

-Tom Bell-Richards. Nov 03

We were played on the World Music station Spyda Radio; presenter Alan O'Leary said:

"A real fun Album...really Brilliant"

From Taplas:

With tongues firmly in cheeks, The Kremlinaires (Soviet Swing and Bolshevik Boogie,33WM129) are an ensemble of British and Russian musicians, brought together by fiddler Chris Haigh. Their repertoire is a mix of Trad Russian and 40's American swing, with everything presented in the style of the latter.

Lyrics are wittily much modified and the whole thing is great fun, as well as having a high standard of musicianship.

From "Broadway to Vagas"

As the song in the musical Gypsy proclaims; You Gotta Have a Gimmick The Kremlinaires do and Broadway To Vegas thinks we missed a really great party - the one where the Conservative members of British Parliament were dancing around the room with that Soviet flag and then there was that show last night at the National Theatre in London.

In one of the most clever and witty PR concoctions we've discovered in an ice age, some extremely talented and experienced musicians have donned an image that has both raised eyebrows and resulted in paying gigs.

Behind the faux political facade the seven guys are great swing jazz musicians who perform with expertise on accordion, guitar, clarinet/sax, piano, drums, violin and bass.

It's a hoot!

Musician Magazine

During the Cold War the USSR had a secret weapon that has only just come to light- "an elite cadre of Russian swing musicians who, when finally unveiled, would consign Glenn Miller, Count Basie, Louis Jordan, Bob Wills and his like to the dustbin of history". Such is the premise on which this album- and band, are built.

It gives a fine excuse to blend ingredients like the Western Swing of Bob Wills and thr jump jive of Louis Jordan with Hot Club, Klezmer, and other East European folk stylings.

The music is first class, whether cyrillicising American songs or adding swing to the traditional european ones.

A successful experiment producing music of a style not heard since Leningrad Cowboys go America!

-Kit Packham

Just Jazz

I was given this CD by Just Jazz as everyone at the office felt I might be able to work out what the Kremlinaires are about. First impression: comedy jazz band from Russia, a publicity photo not unlike Bob Kerr's Whoopie Band; this was going to be interesting. After listening I came up with the fact that the Kremlinaires are a swing band laced with fun, they have some clever and pleasant arrangements and, most of all, they swing. The band is led by violin player Chris Haigh. The rest of the band is introduced on the CD on Five Guys named Bo.

The material is a mix of well known standards and traditional Russian folk stuff- I prefer the latter. The band at times has a Louis Jordan type of sound and then sometimes accordions and violins take you sweetly to a campfire and good times. Favourite tracks: Take me back to Belgrade, A Tsar is Born and Katyusha.

On the whole, a great CD, excellent quality and it always swings which I suppose is the main thing. I can reccomment this entertaining recording and look forward to seeing them live.

-Tom (Spats) Langham

Traditional Music Maker

There's a single concept at work here, which begins with the cover, runs through the exceedingly humorous sleeve notes and into the music itself. Are we dealing with a novelty act? Well, to a certain extent yes, but despite the post-Tsarist allusions, the Kremlinaires are an undoubted talent and an enjoyable outfit to boot.

Delivering a mix of adulterated traditional Russian tunes, a little bit of Louis Jordan and Bob Wills, the Kremlinaires prove that they can swing with the best of them and they must make for an energetic and amusing live act. Consequently, all the tunes and songs are covers and the likelihood is that you'll even recognise the souped-up rockin' Russian standards, even if the titles have been changed, purely in the name of comedy...Crem de la Krem, Take me back to Belgrade, Stomping with Stalin etc. I'm sure you get the picture.

Seemingly led by violin player Chris Haigh; it's his name which seems to take most credit for the enterprise, and at the risk of being caught up in the joke, it may well be that there are a couple of genuine Russians on board. If that is the case, I fancy that accordion player and vocalist Serguei Pachnine is still touching up the accent a tad., if only for the effect.

Despite the novelty of the act and the humour within the performance , it has to be stated that these guys are talented by any stretch of the imagination- the musicianship is both proficient and tight, while crisp production values result in an immensely enjoyable package.

I could try and sign off with an outrageous pun but check out the album and you'll find that department's already been taken care of.

-Peter Stevenson

Highlands and Islands Arts Journal

The tongue-in-cheeky Kremlinaires were a musical Molatov of Russian and English musicians that burned bright all weekend. Several Shetlanders are now chanting mantra-like "Take me back to Belgrade I'm too young to marry."Ê

-Jane Montcrief

Shetland Times

Onto the final act of the night, The Kremlinaires, a Soviet-swing and Bolshevik Boogie band. Now I really didn't know what to expect here. They played fantastic music but you could not just describe them as musicians, they were definitely entertainers too. They had such a slick act, with lots of speeches to urge us to throw off our masters and march to the glory of Communism (very surreal with the Queen's picture up behind them) that I would almost expect them to do exactly the same act if I saw them again another night. I didn't though, so I can't comment I'm afraid. Although apparently there were two Russians and five Englishmen on stage, one Unst man at my table said he didn't believe a word of it. His theory was that they were probably all from Lerwick, and pointed out the striking resemblance between the double bass player and Morgan Goodlad, and between the big guy in the hat and Charlie "Chaz Jazz" Johnson. With a lot of "Ach"-ing and "Oh yes-a" -ing, they finished up with two fast numbers, Take Me Back To Belgrade and Five Guys Named Bo. It was quite a night.

-Kerry Hooker

BBC Celtic Roots Reviews

Next up were the Kremlinaires, describing themselves as the last remnants of an elite cadre of Russian musicians formed by Stalin , when he realised that the Americans had one unbeatable advantage in the struggle for the minds of the proletariat - Swing jazz!! They certainly won the minds of their Shetland audience with their own hugely entertaining musical revolution.

-Caroline Moyes

MARLBOROUGH JAZZ FEST: THE KREMLINAIRES
From the The Wiltshire Gazette and Herald, first published Monday 14th Jul 2008.

COMMUNISM reigned supreme on Saturday, for a couple of hours at least, as the Kremlinaires made a welcome return to Marlborough.

Making their presence felt with a parade through the audience, the seven-strong band (including Five Guys Named Bo) let everyone know why Revolution was the way to go in musical form.

Showcasing the talents of the bands individual members, some of whom proved so good they were given military medals on stage, the group got the audience tapping and clapping along.

And with the stage at the Crown Hotel bandstand in a better location than in previous years, there was more room than usual for the converts (and any visiting Russians who wanted to join in) to jig along to the hits.

Anyone who missed it should not despair as purchasing the group's CD will apparently become compulsory after the revolution so there will be plenty of time to admire their talents then.

Those of us who already have a copy can breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy those talents now at our leisure.

Sarah Nicholls